The Euro final loss is a victory for what’s best about England - July 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 18th, 2021

A mural of Jadon Sancho’s fellow footballer Marcus Rashford was graffitied after Sunday night’s final. Four semen streaks spurted simultaneously from a tumorous cartoon penis towards Rashford’s face, suggesting a ruined urethra with multiple lesions. Perhaps this satirical penis had been snagged in a waste disposal, caught in a cruel penis trap, or nibbled by…

Is GB News a threat to democracy? That’s the million-dollar oesion - June 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - June 20th, 2021

Last week, as a disciple of the religion of wokeness, I was busy boycotting products advertised on Andrew Sphagnum Moss Neil’s new anti-woke GB News channel, which has been difficult as many of them are goods and services I don’t use. Consequently, I spent Monday in the park under a willow tree trying determinedly to…

Please could we have a cultured culture secretary? - May 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 30th, 2021

I am a pan-disciplinary recipient of the country’s two highest cultural accolades, the Bafta for film and television and the Olivier for theatre; I have been described by the Times as the “world’s greatest living standup comedian”; I have rapped in 10th-century Old English on a No 1 single; I won Celebrity Mastermind answering questions…

Pity the poor standup in Boris Johnson’s kleptocracy - May 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 16th, 2021

Like a great sloppy spaff, the flying shit of the Queen’s speech has hit the fan of functioning democracy full in the face. More than two million of the electorate least likely to support Boris Johnson are to be robbed of their right to vote, while millions of the sort of true Brits who moved…

Is nowhere safe from the Tory culture wreckers? - May 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 9th, 2021

Many on the left have blamed Keir Starmer, and the white working class’s perceived abandonment by Labour’s patronising metropolitan elite, for the political survival of the corrupt liar Boris Johnson. And it helps that Johnson showered our body-strewn streets with costly vaccines, like a negligent drunken father suddenly treating his starving children to a spaff-up…

All the Tory sleaze that’s fit to print… - May 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 2nd, 2021

I first filed this supposedly funny column, about Boris Let the Bodies Pile High in Their Thousands Johnson’s wallpaper, at 8pm on Wednesday, 15 glorious hours before the Thursday 11am deadline. Now I could enjoy a leisurely morning cycle to a Pret a Manger™ ® breakfast bap with my name on it and some passive-aggressive…