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Showing 61 results for: Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Vampires Haircut Wall-Spaffer Turds Johnson

Dude, I take no pleasure in having been right about Boris Johnson - July 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 28th, 2019

I believe it was I who wrote in June 2017 in this very paper: “The secret Tory steering committee has always intended Boris Johnson to be leader of the party and Theresa May has only been put in place as a kind of palate cleanser, a nasty-tasting mouthwash that you swill around your gums before…

Can Alexa fix my Brexit and Trump-induced ills? - July 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 14th, 2019

I woke early on Monday morning, and sat bolt upright clutching my chest, with the sense that something was afoot. Over the Atlantic, in Washington, a mysterious grey-haired child, with the face of a wizened old man, burst forth from a vast blue egg, laid unnoticed overnight in the White House garden, and declared as…

Boris Johnson says hair-gate is ‘beyond satire’. Here goes… - June 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - June 30th, 2019

I had this week’s column nailed by Tuesday teatime, 36 hours ahead of the deadline. Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Haircut Inconclusive-Cocaine-Event Wall-Spaffer Fuck-Business Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Johnson was the gift that kept on giving. Piccaninny’s fans had complained that as the neighbours who called the police to his screams-and-swearing-filled flat last Thursday self-identified as Remainers…

Why the joke’s on Johnson in a fantasy violence league - June 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - June 23rd, 2019

Images of physical retribution against hated political figures have, rightly or wrongly, been part of the holy fool’s comedic arsenal since the dawn of human civilisation. Effigies of the sparkler-toting anarchist Guy Fawkes have been burnt every November 5th since 1606, while a 17,000-year-old daub on the wall of the Grotte de Niaux in south-west…

My desperate bid to match Boris Johnson’s colossal lies - January 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 28th, 2018

When Boris Johnson announced in a press conference on Thursday his intent to fly to the moon in a basket carried by enormous swans, as part of an ongoing quest to seek out new post-Brexit trading partners outside the EU, it seemed the logical end point of a political career characterised by the propagation of…

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