Few hearts can have been left unbroken on Friday night, when footage emerged of President Donald Trump triumphantly celebrating the killing of Father Christmas by American military forces on Boxing Day. My children were in floods of tears as we watched a clearly aroused Trump make the following televised statement, sitting beneath a sumptuously decorated…
Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Vampires Haircut Wall-Spaffer Spunk-Burster Fuck-Business Fuck-the-Families Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Girly-Swot Big-Girl’s-Blouse Chicken-frit Hulk-Smash Noseringed-Crusties Death-Humbug Technology-Lessons Surrender-Bullshit French-Turds Dog-Whistle Get-Stuffed FactcheckUK@CCHQ Get-Brexit-Done Johnson is finally your elected prime minister! And the past decade’s worth of my multi-award-winning satirical standup sets seem like the sagely predictions of a seer. Sometimes I scare…
On Monday, the crusading investigative journalist Piers Morgan interviewed Jennifer Arcuri, the spurned 10-year business associate of Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Vampires Haircut Wall-Spaffer Spunk-Burster Fuck-Business Fuck-the-Families Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Girly-Swot Big-Girl’s-Blouse Chicken-frit Hulk-Smash Noseringed-Crusties Death-Humbug Technology-Lessons Surrender-Bullshit French-Turds Get-Stuffed FactcheckUK@CCHQ Johnson. Shortly before being ridiculed by a bluntly Scottish Lorraine Kelly, the disputed tech-entrepreneur…
In the Forest of Dean, an undiscovered stone circle emerged from the moss; in the east Midlands, the former high sheriff of Derbyshire herself was swept away by floodwater; and on Remembrance Sunday, searching the cemetery for war dead, I was lead instead by a cawing crow to the hidden grave of the music hall…
Clues to the causes of the tragedy of Grenfell Tower are at last emerging, and they do appear to be providing some comfort. For example, people who died in the fire, according to Jacob Rees-Mogg, lacked “common sense”. The inferno could thus be viewed as a useful cull of some of society’s least valuable members,…
Last week, Donald Trump falsely attributed admirable human qualities to a dog. Many Trump supporters have done the same to the president. The hero dog, Trump explained on Monday, had played an important part in the operation that saw the Islamic State leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi “die like a dog”, the president managing to both…