Possessed by Brexit? Time to call an exorcist - March 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 10th, 2019

A newly discovered birth relative of mine, a Catholic priest, is an exorcist, from County Cork. The Exorcist came to stay on Wednesday. The next evening he was doing what he called “a fairly straightforward overnight identify, isolate, subdue and expel job” in Angel. He wasn’t allowed to talk about it, and knows I’m an…

Why did the BBC let Andrew Neil combust? - March 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 3rd, 2019

Last week, supposedly unprecedented spring wildfires raged across dry, bushy and exposed areas. On Monday, having dealt with serious incidents at Saddleworth Moor and Hundred Acre Wood, teams of specialised firefighters also attended the small piece of Shredded Wheat that lives on top of Andrew Neil’s head. Dozens of grateful weevils were saved from certain…

It’s the thought that counts with Brexit gifts - January 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 6th, 2019

The new year slips in, tailgating quietly through the closing crack of the old, and the elderly Brexit-voting racist relatives you tolerated through gritted skull over the festive season, their presence turning Christmas into a three-dimensional LBC phone-in, to be survived only by the anaesthetic of alcohol, have departed. But blood is thicker than water.…

Prepare yourselves for a no-Christmas Brexit in 2019 - December 2018 The Observer - By Father Christmas (as told to Stewart Lee) - December 23rd, 2018

Merry Christmas, Brexit Britain! And a crap EU year!! It’s me, guest Christmas Observer columnist Father Christmas!!! Or Gender-fluid Parent/Carer Winterval, as Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Disaster Weightloss Haircut Bullshit Johnson probably pretended the EU insisted on calling me, in his lying column in the Daily Telegraph, Britain’s worst newspaper. But whatever name you…

‘Oh, Jeremy Clarkson’. Is that any better as a Glastonbury chant? - July 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 2nd, 2017

Jeremy Corbyn appeared at the Glastonbury CND festival, as part of an ongoing comeback more surprising than Dylan’s 1997 Time Out of Mind turnaround. Like Dylan, a contrary Corbyn refused to give his enthusiastic new fans what they wanted. A last-minute set amendment pledging to block Brexit would have displaced even the Wombles from all-time…

Brexit Britain is desperate for a decent genesis myth - October 2016 The Observer - October 30th, 2016

We are entering a second dark age. But the light that flickers on the screens of our iPhones, from a five-second clip of a dog sliding on some ice, is blinding us to the encroaching blackness. Our civilisation teeters at the abyss. We are 8th-century Lindisfarne monks, spotting black Viking sails on the horizon and…