The trusty tarot has revealed the Tories’ future to me - January 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 1st, 2023

I believe it was John Lennon and Yoko Ono who sang: “A very merry Christmas. And a happy new year. Let’s hope it’s a good one, without Andrew Pierce.” (In the current climate of “cancel culture” and “wokeness”, can I make clear this is a joke? I may have rather put my foot in it,…

The Tories’ Santa tax has brought Christmas to its knees - December 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - December 18th, 2022

It seems there is no depth to which the current crop of Conservatives will not sink, monetising every aspect of modern life in an attempt to create backdoor pathways to funnel any available wealth into their own pockets and those of their donors and cronies, the rivers and seas fouled with excrement, the bodies piled…

From jungles to bras, Tory sleaze is lurking - November 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - November 27th, 2022

For the corrupt Tories and their opportunistic friends, the double whammy of Brexit and the pandemic has been a cash handout bonanza, the clatter of fruit machine payouts drowning the lamentations of millions of mourners. Handsy Matt Handcock even got a £400,000 cow’s anus-noshing, sin-eating television appearance out of his role in the racket. At…

I need Boris Johnson to remain in power until the end of August - April 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 24th, 2022

Shameless criminals are exploiting the plight of desperate asylum seekers for their own ends. Yes, that’s right. Boris Johnson attempted to distract the public from his own transgressions with his hastily announced and arguably unworkable Rwanda Solution. Did you see what I did there? I’m here all week! Try the cake!! But keep it in…

All the Tory sleaze that’s fit to print… - May 2021 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 2nd, 2021

I first filed this supposedly funny column, about Boris Let the Bodies Pile High in Their Thousands Johnson’s wallpaper, at 8pm on Wednesday, 15 glorious hours before the Thursday 11am deadline. Now I could enjoy a leisurely morning cycle to a Pret a Manger™ ® breakfast bap with my name on it and some passive-aggressive…

English Covid: a truly world-beating virus - December 2020 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - December 27th, 2020

If the United Kingdom can take one positive thing from the Covid-19 crisis, it is that the most powerful and virulent version of the virus is perceived globally as being British, faster and stronger than its puny foreign counterparts. And the education secretary, Gavin Williamson, has rightly declared this the sort of thing that makes…