My Waterman conspiracy theory was sunk by Nadhim Zahawi’s incompetence - May 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 15th, 2022

Everyone can remember where they were when, on Monday of last week, they heard that Pete Waterman, of 1980s pop-production duo Stockhausen and Waterman, had died. I was on a garage forecourt on the A1 near Melton Mowbray eating a bag of chicken Fridge Raiders in the rain next to a broken outside toilet. And…

Was no gravestone left unturned to smear Keir? - May 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 8th, 2022

Frank Dobson, the former Labour MP for Holborn and St Pancras, is dead. And yet his corpse seems to have been reanimated, purely to discredit the Labour party, at the incompetent behest of the bleary late night Tory disinformation-sluice Nadine Dorries. The Keirgate Beergate confusion campaign, by the Conservatives and their slave journalists, attempts to…

Barrel-scraper Grant Shapps is taking us for a ride - May 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 1st, 2022

In 2002, I accessed the 3,000-year-old subterranean ceremonial chamber of Pendeen Fogou in north-west Cornwall, by crawling through a 2ft-deep river of liquid cow slurry. Once inside, I was transformed and it was worth it. On Wednesday, I crawled through filth again, as I tried to read the Daily Mail as research for this column.…

I need Boris Johnson to remain in power until the end of August - April 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 24th, 2022

Shameless criminals are exploiting the plight of desperate asylum seekers for their own ends. Yes, that’s right. Boris Johnson attempted to distract the public from his own transgressions with his hastily announced and arguably unworkable Rwanda Solution. Did you see what I did there? I’m here all week! Try the cake!! But keep it in…

Why Brexit Britain is turning purple with shame - April 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 17th, 2022

Like a bald man masturbating alone into an open pedal bin, Boris Johnson’s Brexit Britain disgusts itself. And yet, despite being observed on the gents’ toilet’s security camera that is the modern world stage, it continues its abasement unabashed. After the second world war, the German volk were described as experiencing kollektivschuld, a national shame.…

Putin tied Boris Johnson up in his own trousers - March 2022 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 13th, 2022

A nakedly corrupt and evidently narcissistic leader, surrounded by a phalanx of accommodating acolytes, enriched his supporters with liquidised public assets and spurious government schemes, flagrantly broke international treaties, trashed domestic political standards, systematically flooded social media with fake news, used his power over the press to spread disinformation over many decades, sought to destabilise…