It’s mating season on X, as Musk courts Trump - August 2024 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 18th, 2024

The dorsal fin of the tiny remora fish conceals a suction mechanism, enabling it to cling to sharks, which are full of urea and can live for many years. And on Monday, the Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump, and Elon Musk, the billionaire playman and galactic space-lord of the decomposing social media channel Twitter (currently…

Britain burns while liberals check facts - August 2024 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 11th, 2024

Let’s get ready to rhumble! As heroic locals and beleaguered police battle to stop cocaine-fuelled hard-right rioters burning people to death, the laughing faces of ITV’s Ant McPartlin and Declan Donnelly hang suspended in the smoke shrouding buildings in Rotherham and Tamworth. Watch us wreck the mike!! Psyche!!! The greatest trick Nigel Farage ever pulled,…

Republicans beware: weaponising pets is a political minefield - August 2024 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 4th, 2024

The Ohio senator JD Vance has attacked “childless cat ladies”, going so far as to suggest infertile cat owners, or cat owners choosing life without children, should enjoy reduced voting rights. Donald Trump has already alienated Elvis Presley fans (“Elvis didn’t have 50,000 people and he had a guitar… I don’t have a guitar”) and…

The end is nigh. For insects, bats, protest, the planet… - July 2024 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 28th, 2024

Signs and wonders. Omens of black portent. Part of an American looney’s ear has been shot off by another American looney. The proposed presidency of the earless looney had been endorsed by Atomic Kitten’s Kerry Katona. A computer went wrong and everything in the world stopped working everywhere. On Tuesday it was reported that Chris…

Which Home Alone child star should everyone blame if Trump is re-elected? - July 2024 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 21st, 2024

The assassination attempt on Donald Trump last weekend is a tragedy; a tragedy for democracy, a tragedy for America and, above all, a tragedy for the whole world, because it means Donald Trump will be re-elected. And it is a tragedy for Donald Trump, who, whatever one thinks of his politics or his personality, is…

The Tory gravy train’s left town – but it’s got all my best gags on board - July 2024 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 14th, 2024

A female black rod has declared the wokest parliament ever open! Allow yourselves the luxury of hope. But while you must remember the poor, and the polluted rivers and those marooned on massive hospital waiting lists, you must also, at this time, think of the satirists. For we are the real victims here. The gift…