The Brexit culture wars are driving me bananas - March 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 4th, 2018

On 10 May 2016, in the closing days of the Brexit campaign, at an impromptu speech in Cornwall, lying Boris Johnson again invoked the Brexiters’ foundation myth that the EU sought to ban bendy bananas. But voters who backed leaving the EU in order to get back the bendy bananas, which had not been taken…

Is a sci-fi-style dystopia such a bad Brexit outcome? - February 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 25th, 2018

For nearly 18 months now, the increasingly frustrated European liberal fat-cat elite has been asking for some clues as to what we brave British Brexiters imagine Brexit will be, the pastry edifice of Theresa May’s monumental “Brexit means Brexit” statement having already crumbled last year, when a moth’s tear fell near it. Unable to say…

Satire only makes Jacob Rees-Mogg stronger - February 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 11th, 2018

Take heed, the metropolitan liberal elite! Cower, all you Conservative moderates!! Weep, environmentalists, and prepare your online petitions!!! Jacob Rees-Mogg is upon you, a black darkness over the shire, a shade upon your allotments, a frozen shadow upon all your back garden gazebos. And your ancient weapons will not work upon his impervious hide, their…

How I became the king of cetacean comedy - February 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 4th, 2018

On my way to pick up fresh cat litter in the car on Wednesday, I suddenly heard the following snippet of radio news: “A hulking and senseless creature, driven only by instinct and self-interest, has nonetheless learned to emit recognisable human words through its blowhole.” But I am sick of hearing about Boris Johnson all…

My desperate bid to match Boris Johnson’s colossal lies - January 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 28th, 2018

When Boris Johnson announced in a press conference on Thursday his intent to fly to the moon in a basket carried by enormous swans, as part of an ongoing quest to seek out new post-Brexit trading partners outside the EU, it seemed the logical end point of a political career characterised by the propagation of…

I’m drunk, shrunk and still shunned by Virgin - January 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 21st, 2018

Last week’s research reveals that three in five of us drink to cope with the stress of everyday life. For others, the stress of everyday life serves as a respite from the relentless romantic demands of dame alcohol and her salty handmaidens, crisps. Like many functioning alcoholics, I quit drinking on New Year’s Day, as…