Satire only makes Jacob Rees-Mogg stronger - February 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 11th, 2018

Take heed, the metropolitan liberal elite! Cower, all you Conservative moderates!! Weep, environmentalists, and prepare your online petitions!!! Jacob Rees-Mogg is upon you, a black darkness over the shire, a shade upon your allotments, a frozen shadow upon all your back garden gazebos. And your ancient weapons will not work upon his impervious hide, their…

How I became the king of cetacean comedy - February 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 4th, 2018

On my way to pick up fresh cat litter in the car on Wednesday, I suddenly heard the following snippet of radio news: “A hulking and senseless creature, driven only by instinct and self-interest, has nonetheless learned to emit recognisable human words through its blowhole.” But I am sick of hearing about Boris Johnson all…

My desperate bid to match Boris Johnson’s colossal lies - January 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 28th, 2018

When Boris Johnson announced in a press conference on Thursday his intent to fly to the moon in a basket carried by enormous swans, as part of an ongoing quest to seek out new post-Brexit trading partners outside the EU, it seemed the logical end point of a political career characterised by the propagation of…

I’m drunk, shrunk and still shunned by Virgin - January 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 21st, 2018

Last week’s research reveals that three in five of us drink to cope with the stress of everyday life. For others, the stress of everyday life serves as a respite from the relentless romantic demands of dame alcohol and her salty handmaidens, crisps. Like many functioning alcoholics, I quit drinking on New Year’s Day, as…

How Toby Young got where he isn’t today - January 2018 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 14th, 2018

The grindingly algorithmic controversialist Toby Young was always painfully and obviously in the oedipal shadow of his socialist intellectual father, Michael Young. Each of his desperately politically incorrect tweets was an attempt to cuckold and castrate his progenitor. Toby Young has wasted his life spitting cold mucus at a ghost and throwing clumps of his…

Christmas sounds a clanging chime of doom - December 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - December 12th, 2017

There is much we can learn from the ancient traditions of Winterval, each culture’s festive myths and rituals being equally valid, and equally instructive, irrespective of their veracity or worth. Upon the solstice night in Latveria, for example, Pappy Puffklap leaves a dried clump of donkey excrement on the breakfast table of each home. Is…