No space is safe when even our TVs are spies - March 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 12th, 2017

I only got a “smart” television set 18 months ago, so I have already avoided years of covert surveillance by the CIA, the FBI, MI5, CI5 and NWA. No one is safe from Samsung’s all-seeing Eye of Sauron. Apparently, a deeply embedded program currently enables the intelligence agencies to note and monitor anyone who is…

I can heal divided Britain with my show for everyone - March 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 5th, 2017

I am a standup comedian, and simply putting the words “standup comedian” in inverted commas in your below-the-line comments on this column will do nothing to change that, you Brexit-crazed cyberbots of billionaire Trump-backer Robert Mercer’s referendum-shaping Cambridge Analytica company. Sad! Last week, in Truro, as part of the endless tour I use these columns…

Roll over, grandma, and tell Robert Peston the news - February 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 26th, 2017

What would a coup d’état look like? Would you even notice if one was happening all around you? Should we even be allowed to use the phrase coup d’état, now that we are leaving the EU? Should we return the very words themselves to the vile continent whence they came, and accept back in turn…

A knockout week for the post-shame political class - February 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 12th, 2017

Knock knock? Who’s there? Benjamin Netanya. Benjamin Netanya who? That’s right, can I come in and see Theresa May please? Before you clog up the below-the-line comments for this column with criticisms, I am aware this knock-knock joke doesn’t quite work, logically. Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu was left standing at the unanswered door of…

With Donald Trump’s help, at least our bananas will be bendy again - February 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - February 5th, 2017

Not everyone who voted to leave the EU wanted to see Britain immediately descend into being an unaccountable single-party state, exploiting people’s worst prejudices to maintain power indefinitely. Some people just wanted to have bendy bananas. As a member of the metropolitan liberal elite in the pre-Brexit wasteland, I wake up every day, my little…

Full of nuts, watching a 70s western, I saw America’s future… - January 2017 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - January 29th, 2017

Can it be only last year that I was making the out-of-touch liberal elite laugh, in publicly subsidised theatres throughout pre-Brexit Britain, by saying that “Donald Trump” sounded like the kind of name Walt Disney would come up with if he was asked to invent a fart that could speak? Happy times. It seemed then…