It’s a titanic struggle between two tortoises – and not a hare in sight - May 2015 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - May 3rd, 2015

The Thracian slave Aesop is historically lauded as the master of the fabular form, pitting simplistically symbolic creatures – the wily fox, the lascivious bat and the slothful sloth – against each other in tales that have delighted fans of prescriptive anthropomorphic narrative for generations. But the current race towards No 10 has an audacious…

I feel your pain, David Cameron – and I’ll be out of my job soon, too - April 2015 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 26th, 2015

My irregular “David Mitchell is on holiday” columns on page seven of the Observer New Review frequently generate massive web traffic, with thousands of below-the-line reader comments, though, admittedly, most of them call for me to be sexually punished. But these opportunistic weekly election diaries have provoked minimal comment-is-free contributions from the Observer’s hopefully future-proof…

Somerset’s medieval lepers meet the Tory visionary dream team - April 2015 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 19th, 2015

This week, on a break between standup tour dates, I am on holiday with the children in Nether Stowey, Somerset, from where I file the next of my election columns. As a north London Old Speckled Hen socialist I assumed there would be little political for my satirical pen to set about in Somerset, where…

Truly, this man was the son of God. And I don’t mean David Cameron - April 2015 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 12th, 2015

Easter is the time of eternal symbols: the fictitious egg-abandoning rabbit; the female mantis, biting off its mate’s head during a loveless copulation; and, perhaps most profound, the newborn orphan lamb’s greedy suckling at the laughing prime minister’s eagerly proffered teat, a scene re-enacted every Easter by a local actor in the village of Chadlington,…

If we send the migrants back, who will cook my late-night steak? - April 2015 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - April 5th, 2015

In 1944 the London Evening Standard sent Betty Knox, of the popular music hall trio Wilson, Keppel and Betty, to cover the Normandy landings. Knox’s impromptu one-woman performance of their famous Sand Dance, a rip-roaring montage of ancient Egyptian imagery and racially insensitive soft-shoeing, was delivered under heavy bombardment on Gold Beach, and so bored…

If Grant Shapps was made by little green aliens, what’s left? - March 2015 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - March 22nd, 2015

Last week, I betrayed the homosexual parenting community. At Elton John’s insistence I tried to boycott Dolce & Gabbana, which was a great sacrifice for me, as other designer underwear makes my testicles look old. As I have been appearing at a theatre in Dundee it has been difficult to find any Dolce & Gabbana…