Revealed: Boris Johnson’s secret weapon for a no-deal Brexit - August 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 18th, 2019

How many small plastic toy egg casings could be hidden in, for example, a Michael Gove? And, if we knew this figure, and had an accurate idea of potential volunteer multiple plastic toy egg couriers, could we extrapolate from it the volume of goods that might be secretly transported, in this fashion, both in and…

Dude, I take no pleasure in having been right about Boris Johnson - July 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 28th, 2019

I believe it was I who wrote in June 2017 in this very paper: “The secret Tory steering committee has always intended Boris Johnson to be leader of the party and Theresa May has only been put in place as a kind of palate cleanser, a nasty-tasting mouthwash that you swill around your gums before…

Can Alexa fix my Brexit and Trump-induced ills? - July 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 14th, 2019

I woke early on Monday morning, and sat bolt upright clutching my chest, with the sense that something was afoot. Over the Atlantic, in Washington, a mysterious grey-haired child, with the face of a wizened old man, burst forth from a vast blue egg, laid unnoticed overnight in the White House garden, and declared as…

Boris Johnson says hair-gate is ‘beyond satire’. Here goes… - June 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - June 30th, 2019

I had this week’s column nailed by Tuesday teatime, 36 hours ahead of the deadline. Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Haircut Inconclusive-Cocaine-Event Wall-Spaffer Fuck-Business Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Johnson was the gift that kept on giving. Piccaninny’s fans had complained that as the neighbours who called the police to his screams-and-swearing-filled flat last Thursday self-identified as Remainers…

Why the joke’s on Johnson in a fantasy violence league - June 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - June 23rd, 2019

Images of physical retribution against hated political figures have, rightly or wrongly, been part of the holy fool’s comedic arsenal since the dawn of human civilisation. Effigies of the sparkler-toting anarchist Guy Fawkes have been burnt every November 5th since 1606, while a 17,000-year-old daub on the wall of the Grotte de Niaux in south-west…

Tea with the Trumps – a red leicester nightmare - June 2019 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - June 9th, 2019

Last Monday I attended the worst family dinner I have ever experienced. It honoured a visiting American with whom we were barely acquainted, but were somehow obliged to entertain. A few years previously our guest had suggested on a radio show that, despite thinking she was “crazy”, he could have “nailed” my late mother. She…