As Britain drowns in filth, the Tories want more toilets - August 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 20th, 2023

There are important questions to be asked about lavatories, and Kemi Badenoch is certainly the Tory best suited to answering them. A report in the government’s Daily Telegraph mouthpiece announced that a new government initiative would see the equalities minister, Kemi Badenoch, appoint a Tory lavatories tsar, a task that would doubtless make her flush…

This dying, sweary Tory government wants to drag us down with it - August 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 13th, 2023

A cat got hit in our road one night, expiring all too slowly, yowling in enormous pain. People stood on the pavement in their sitcom pyjamas, knowing the kindest thing to do would be to run into the traffic and whack it with a spade. In the end, as the north London wokerati procrastinated into…

Rishi Sunak – a total investment banker - August 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - August 6th, 2023

I view human nature through the Techniscope ™® lens of 1960s Italian cowboy films. In Spaghetti Western World, the men we most despise are those who, when the chips are down, snatch an innocent peasant child and put a pistol to their temple, to use as a human shield until their demands are met. Our…

Europe burns while the Tories’ net zero plans are set to go up in smoke - July 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 30th, 2023

It’s 2am on Thursday. Wildfires are burning in Greece, Italy, Tunisia, Portugal, Croatia and Algeria. British tourist climate refugees are, ironically, being rescued by friendly locals in small boats. Stop the boats! No! Not those boats! The other ones! The ones with brown people in them! But the main environmental news in the past few…

If the Tory degree plan is dopey, look who’s selling it - July 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 23rd, 2023

On Monday, as part of their ongoing fabricated culture war, a desperate Conservative government declared an incoherent assault on “rip-off” degrees. But there is no one left in the duffer-stuffed Conservative government clever enough to defend the idiotic soundbite that is “Crackdown on Mickey Mouse degrees!” And hasn’t Mickey Mouse suffered enough, being painted over…

The UK’s Mickey Mouse news agenda deserves only contempt - July 2023 The Observer - By Stewart Lee - July 16th, 2023

It’s Thursday morning. Boris Johnson, who made a former KGB agent’s son a lord and attended sexy parties at his fairytale hacienda, has failed to hand over his mobile phone to the Covid inquiry as some secret spies said there might be all stuff on it. Johnson has also spaffed out another child, this time…