Will Self has written a puff piece in the New Statesman on Stewart Lee and various instruments across the globe measuring the degree of wank in the world have exploded it has been revealed.
Professor Charles Langtree of The Felchfield Institute said ‘My Twat barometer melted last night.’
‘Then the Wankometer blew up followed by the Arse-i-flex erupting. I have never seen such behaviour on our instruments.’
‘I knew from these actions some horrific trio of turd had occurred and upon investigation found the article.’
‘Despite being politically in the same place, both myself and world instruments can’t cope with the sheer volume of shite. There was a worrying wobble in Neptune’s gravitational field at the same time.’
‘If this causes the universe to implode, I’m going to be really, really annoyed.’
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Danazawa, Youtube
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Keilloh, Twitter
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Idrie, Youtube
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Brighton Argus
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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World Without End, Twitter
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Mearecate, Youtube
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BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Rudeness, Youtube
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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John Robins, Comedian
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Stuart, Chortle
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Hiewy, Youtube
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Wharto15, Twitter
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Bosco239, youtube