The received wisdom is that, as the northern hemisphere tilts nearer the Sun – causing the Earth to warm, buds to flush, and bees, once more, to fly in through open windows – that we watch less television.
Britain, it is presumed, strolls out for a gigantic game of cricket around March 15, should the weather be clement, and doesn’t really come back inside until the end of September, when it has a hot bath, a bowl of lentil soup, puts its snuggle-socks on, and can’t wait to settle down for a new series of Antiques Roadshow.
Myself, I find this not to be the case. For, as the days get longer, is the fact not simply that we have more day? And, therefore, can we not fit in even more television than we did before? With the spring sun so clement before breakfast, I’m now fitting in fully half my life before 9am, which means – as the day progresses – I’m running at least two hours ahead of my winter self, hit the wine around 4pm, and by 9 I’m on the sofa, rat-arsed, banging on my saucepan with a spoon and screaming, “Telly!”
And to the vinous cry of “Telly!” there can be few more pleasing answers than “Here’s the new programme from Stewart Lee”.
Lee has a unique place in the hearts of those, roughly, between 25 and 40. As half of the Nineties comedy duo Lee & Herring, his BBC Fist of Fun show was basically The Mary Whitehouse Experience, but without Punt & Dennis. Or, perhaps more crucially, a subsequent series of sell-out gigs at Wembley. What I’m basically trying to say is that Lee and Herring had a similar line in greasy hair, puppyish postmodernism and alt-rock reference points – they had a character called the Kurious Oranj – after the Fall track, after all – but they were both much cooler, and much less successful.
With Lee this cool/cash ratio imbalance was vastly magnified with his first solo project, which was the seminally profane Jerry Springer: The Opera. How I feel about Jerry Springer: The Opera is a bit like how Kevin Spacey felt about Mena Suvari in American Beauty – rose petals hurtle from my heart when I think of it. Not only was it Chris Rock-funny, with a Scorsese-level of symphonic swearing, but it also was the most lucidly sustained piece of cold, moral fury I have seen. Hypocrisy, intolerance, media bear-baiting – Jerry Springer: The Opera played out the ultimate conclusion of them all, with sopranos and contraltos, and the energy of a small car plant.
It was with no small measure of irony, then, that its broadcast on the BBC received a record number of complaints and, for a time, Lee faced charges of blasphemy. These were eventually dismissed because, as Lee put it, “It’s not 1508”. But Lee hasn’t really worked on TV since then. Quite why seems veiled in mystery – he left his management company, the monolithic Avalon, and toured a lot instead – but the fact remains that, for nearly half a decade, one of the most talked-about, relevant and clever comedians around hasn’t had a weekly credit sequence to call his own.
This omission has now been corrected with a clearly costly opening montage in which Lee drives around in a specially commissioned, primary-coloured clown-car, the “Comedy Vehicle” of the title. It feels a little bit like the cashing-in of a successful compensation claim against the BBC for inexplicably ignoring him for four years.
Anyway, is Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle very clever and funny, and full of things that you are still thinking about the next morning while you jog in the spring sunshine at 8am? Yes. Of course. The End. Except it’s not – because if you missed it, I want you to realise how very much you need to go on i-Player and listen to Lee talking about, this week, books. Having bought six Jeremy Clarkson books from Amazon – “which changes your profile in a way which takes literally thousands of man-hours to correct” – Lee starts to invent future Clarkson titles, such as “Saplings I Have Crushed”, and “Women – and their Four Uses”.
He moves on to J.K. Rowling (“Harry Potter and the Tree of Nothing”), the pitiful, invertebrate lack of ambition in Chris Moyles’s claim to have “written a great toilet book” – “Oh, Icarus, fly not too close to the Sun, lest your waxen wings melt” – and, ultimately, merges his anger with Dan Da Vinci Code Brown’s remedial writing style (“This is a man who has written and published the line ‘The famous man looked at the red cup’”) with his rant on the “misery-memoir” genre, to imagine a misery-memoir written by Brown: “The bad man’s cruel hand hit my nice face.”
How very little we see of people who can throw a slouchy reference to William Tyndale – martyred for making unauthorised translations of the Bible – into a rant about a Radio 1 DJ’s cash-in hardback. There’s a skit about an abused goat that misfires but, generally, this was the kind of stand-up/sketch show that ultimately makes you relax about the state of this country’s IQ.
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube