YOU’D have to be as drunk as Phil Mitchell to find Celebrity Juice funny. It’s like a tenth rate Shooting Stars.
People titter because Keith Lemon leers at breasts and says “milk, milk”. What are we, six? Ooh, he said fanny, he said poo…
On his live show, Lemon got his first laughs with “Oh f***, we’re live”, followed by “I whacked her in the face with me c**k”.
Oscar Wilde eat yer heart out. This is lobotomised comedy aimed at the Club 18-30 crowd after a night on Jägerbombs – the comic equivalent of a tanked-up footballer at Cheltenham.
It’s lazy toilet humour bereft of wit or insight but it’s still arguably preferable to Stewart Lee’s smart-arse ramblings. Lee caters for the smug, right-on, middle class Guardian-reading crowd – the people who share his elitist prejudices.
He despises Only Fools & Horses, arguably the greatest British sitcom ever made, and only last week said Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust album made him “physically sick”.
On Thursday he turned his fire on the English flag, linking it falsely to the 1970s National Front (who actually marched behind the Union Jack).
He then spent two thirds of a dull, self-indulgent show talking about his cat, allegedly called Jeremy Corbyn, and its diarrhoea – blowing a raspberry for three minutes while it defecated on the cross of St George.
Looking for laughs in this garbage is like searching for the meaning of life in a Joey Essex documentary. Ah, but clever people tell me I’m missing the joke.
Stewart Lee is just as much a character as Keith Lemon, they say, but brighter. His rambling, repetitive shtick is an act.
He’s actually subverting comedy. Maybe so, but 1) it’s very hard to tell where the fake Lee stops and the real Lee starts, and 2) this is the fourth series ploughing the same shallow furrow.
Like a herpes sore, there is no getting rid of him. Comedy is a matter of taste, of course, but it’s a matter of fact that Oxbridge comedians – which Lee is – get most TV bookings because Oxbridge educated commissioners control the process. The same kind of cretins who sacked Les Dawson…
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Keilloh, Twitter
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Stuart, Chortle
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Brighton Argus
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Hiewy, Youtube
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Danazawa, Youtube
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
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Idrie, Youtube
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk