YOU’D have to be as drunk as Phil Mitchell to find Celebrity Juice funny. It’s like a tenth rate Shooting Stars.
People titter because Keith Lemon leers at breasts and says “milk, milk”. What are we, six? Ooh, he said fanny, he said poo…
On his live show, Lemon got his first laughs with “Oh f***, we’re live”, followed by “I whacked her in the face with me c**k”.
Oscar Wilde eat yer heart out. This is lobotomised comedy aimed at the Club 18-30 crowd after a night on Jägerbombs – the comic equivalent of a tanked-up footballer at Cheltenham.
It’s lazy toilet humour bereft of wit or insight but it’s still arguably preferable to Stewart Lee’s smart-arse ramblings. Lee caters for the smug, right-on, middle class Guardian-reading crowd – the people who share his elitist prejudices.
He despises Only Fools & Horses, arguably the greatest British sitcom ever made, and only last week said Bowie’s Ziggy Stardust album made him “physically sick”.
On Thursday he turned his fire on the English flag, linking it falsely to the 1970s National Front (who actually marched behind the Union Jack).
He then spent two thirds of a dull, self-indulgent show talking about his cat, allegedly called Jeremy Corbyn, and its diarrhoea – blowing a raspberry for three minutes while it defecated on the cross of St George.
Looking for laughs in this garbage is like searching for the meaning of life in a Joey Essex documentary. Ah, but clever people tell me I’m missing the joke.
Stewart Lee is just as much a character as Keith Lemon, they say, but brighter. His rambling, repetitive shtick is an act.
He’s actually subverting comedy. Maybe so, but 1) it’s very hard to tell where the fake Lee stops and the real Lee starts, and 2) this is the fourth series ploughing the same shallow furrow.
Like a herpes sore, there is no getting rid of him. Comedy is a matter of taste, of course, but it’s a matter of fact that Oxbridge comedians – which Lee is – get most TV bookings because Oxbridge educated commissioners control the process. The same kind of cretins who sacked Les Dawson…
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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John Robins, Comedian
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Idrie, Youtube
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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Stuart, Chortle
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Brighton Argus
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Wharto15, Twitter