The first song I remember hearing
while on holiday with my mum in Mallorca. I remember sitting by some candles in the dark by lake, and this Spanish guitarist playing The Concierto de Aranjuez by Joaquín Rodrigo. It was only in my 20s when I was listening to Sketches of Spain by Miles Davis, which features the same concerto, I realised what it was.
The first single I bought
I remember liking Sugar Baby Love by the Rubettes on Top Of The Pops in 1974, so my mum walked me up to Woolworths on Stratford Road in Shirley. Years later I was on the bill in a small room in Wycombe Swan theatre. The Rubettes and Alvin Stardust were on in the main theatre, and I stole the Rubettes’ sandwiches, because we didn’t have our own catering.
The song I do at karaoke
King of the Road by Roger Miller really swings along, so anyone can manage it, plus it’s got standup comedy timing. Plus, I am the king of the road!
The best song to play at a party
There’s a six-minute version of Snoop Dogg’s song Gin & Juice by this great hillbilly band called the Gourds. At first, people think: “What’s this rubbish?” then Snoop Dogg creeps up. It’s really danceable with a great mandolin break.
The song I secretly like but tell everyone I hate
So many blokey songs like The Boys of Summer by Don Henley felt massively overproduced back in the 80s, but I now listen to them with a real sense of nostalgia.
The song I can no longer listen to
Sadly, Morrissey. Loads of artists end up doing terrible things, but the Smiths meant such a lot to my generation, to have him drift to the far right doesn’t sit. I remember hearing How Soon Is Now when I went to see the Smiths at Birmingham Hippodrome and dancing to it at a disco in Tucson, Arizona in 1995. It’s hard to let go of my childhood attachment to the Smiths, but I don’t know how to square Morrissey’s solo stuff with what he’s become.
The best song to have sex to
The entire double album of Public Castration Is a Good Idea by Swans.
The song that changed my life
I grew up listening to John Peel, but found the Fall irritating, repetitive and unintelligible. Finally, through sheer weight of attrition, I heard I’m Into CB and something clicked, and I became a lifelong fan. They expanded my horizons as I learned more about the people their lyrics alluded to, like Franz Kafka, and I listened to their influences like the Velvet Underground. My life would have been very different without Mark E Smith. I don’t know if I would have done English at university, or even become a comedian.
The song that gets me up in the morning
Guided By Voices make about six albums a year and have been going since the mid-80s. They’ve written hundreds of songs, and Glad Girls will get you up in the morning.
The song I want played at my funeral
Sean Hughes’s funeral was very funny. He had Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now by the Smiths, so I might copy him, or have Giant Sand’s country rock version of Is That All There Is? by Peggy Lee.
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Meninblack, Twitter
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Richard Herring, Comedian
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Brighton Argus
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Danazawa, Youtube
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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Hiewy, Youtube
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Pnethor, pne-online.com
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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Wharto15, Twitter
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Idrie, Youtube
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Joycey, readytogo.net
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Bosco239, youtube
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
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Chez, Chortle.com
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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World Without End, Twitter
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Stuart, Chortle
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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John Robins, Comedian
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Keilloh, Twitter
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter