It was my school friend Simon Smith, perpetually and enviably ahead of the curve, who made me see the then unknown REM catch fire at a small student gig at Warwick University in 1984. And so when Simon suggested we see some ‘live art’, at the gallery in Birmingham, by a man called Anthony Howell, I said I’d go. I was sixteen and susceptible.
That night, we sat on plastic chairs in a semi-circle on the flagstones of the gallery café, around two suitcases, a small table and a wardrobe. A compact little man came out and moved the suitcases and the table around in inscrutable silence for forty minutes. Then he climbed into the wardrobe and it fell over. I was in a hot flush of embarrassed hysteria throughout, terrified I would wet my pants and shriek with laughter, puncturing the mood for the two dozen spectators. So this was the pretentious shit those middle class Guardian reading wankers I learned about in my parents’ Daily Mail were watching?
I composed myself for the second half. The art twat came out again, with his smug and insolent face, now lit only by oil lamps, and clambered noiselessly about the same furniture holding two pails of water. Howell had his impenetrably important work to do. We had been invited to watch. And this time I was spellbound, amused, moved to tears even, and converted, though into what I didn’t really know.
I never saw Antony Howell perform again, but his passable poetry washes up in second hand bookshops and he appears to have made a sideways move into Tango. Simon Smith, meanwhile, went on to head E-bay Australia, his nose for culture plugged by the stench of barbecued prawns.
I remain eternally grateful to him for that night in Birmingham. There’s no end of punters posting on-line their loathing of my work, especially when they feel out of step with the crowd. “Everyone around me was loving it,” wrote someone this Summer, “and I hated his guts.” I know how they feel. I suspect that if I had seen my current act as a younger man, its passive-aggressive monotony and veiled performance art strategies might have left me equally irritated. But I take some comfort in the fact that Table Moves, which I remember with great fondness, appeared to me too, at first, to be intolerable.
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
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Mearecate, Youtube
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Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
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Chez, Chortle.com
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Liam Travitt, Twitter
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Lents, redandwhitekop.com
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Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
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Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
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Jackmumf, Twitter
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Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
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Clampdown59, Twitter.
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Tres Ryan, Twitter
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Rudeness, Youtube
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Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
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Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
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Microcuts 22, Twitter
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Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
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Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
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Shit Crit, Twitter
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Birmingham Sunday Mercury
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Danazawa, Youtube
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Sidsings000, Youtube
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Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
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Hiewy, Youtube
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Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
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Kozzy06, Youtube
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John Robins, Comedian
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Mpf1947, Youtube
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Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
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Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
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Dick Socrates, Twitter
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Cyberbloke, Twitter
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FBC, finalgear.com
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Bosco239, youtube
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Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
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98rosjon, Twitter
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Brighton Argus
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Visualiser1, Twitter
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Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
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Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
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Funday’schild, youtube.
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Aaron, comedy.co.uk
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Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
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Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
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Leach Juice, Twitter
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Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
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Slothy Matt, Twitter
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Sam Rooney, Youtube
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World Without End, Twitter
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Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
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Robert Gavin, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Twitter
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Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
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Horatio Melvin, Twitter
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Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
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Carcrazychica, Youtube
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Al Murray, Comedian
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Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
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Stuart, Chortle
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James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
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Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
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DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
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A D Ward, Twitter
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Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
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Borathigh5, Youtube
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Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
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Mini-x2, readytogo.net
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Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
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Pudabaya, Twitter
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Jamespearse, Twitter
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Tokyofist, Youtube
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Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
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Anon, BBC Complaints Log
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Wharto15, Twitter
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NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
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Keilloh, Twitter
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Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
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Frankie Boyle, Comedian
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Joe, Independent.co.uk
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Contrapuntal, Twitter
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Etienne, Chortle.com
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Emilyistrendy, Youtube
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Mrdavisn01, Twitter
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Tin Frog, Twitter
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Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
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Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
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Peter Fears, Twitter
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Fairy Pingu, Twitter
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Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
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Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
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12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
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Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
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Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
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Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
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Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
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Peter Ould, Youtube
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Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
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Guest1001, Youtube
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Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
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Anon, westhamonline.com
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Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
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Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
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Foxfoxton, Youtube
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Idrie, Youtube
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Z-factor, Twitter.
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Aiden Hearn, Twitter
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Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
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Len Firewood, Twitter
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Fowkes81, Twitter
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Secretdeveloper, Youtube
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Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
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Stokeylitfest, Twitter
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Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
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Sweeping Curves, Twitter
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Joycey, readytogo.net
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
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Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
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Rubyshoes, Twitter
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Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
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Gabrielle, Chortle.com
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GRTak, finalgear.com
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Anamatronix, Youtube
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Zombie Hamster, Twitter
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General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk