Clues to the causes of the tragedy of Grenfell Tower are at last emerging, and they do appear to be providing some comfort. For example, people who died in the fire, according to Jacob Rees-Mogg, lacked “common sense”. The inferno could thus be viewed as a useful cull of some of society’s least valuable members, a purification by fire that the eugenicists of the 1930s would recognise as entirely valid.
Rees-Mogg’s own home, the £2.9m, 17th-century Gournay Court, is built of red sandstone and Bath stone, and has not been thoughtlessly smothered with explosive material. But were it to suddenly turn into an unprecedentedly fierce inferno, it is certain that Rees-Mogg would have had the common sense to tell Nanny to evacuate the family immediately; not down a blazing narrow tower block fire escape, of course, but down the impressive internal staircase, which rises from the east end of Gournay’s inner hall to the first floor and has decorated covered urns as finials and pendants on the newel posts, its balusters forming an arcade in the Jacobean fashion.
Having already established that firefighters were to blame for the deaths, apparently for having no experience of firefighting in a building that was actually covered in material designed to burst into flame, we now learn that the dead are to blame for their own deaths anyway, for being too stupid to stay alive.
Meanwhile, we will have to wait until the back end of next year for a decision on the culpability of the contractors. Appropriate blame has, however, managed to be apportioned to the once lauded firefighters and feckless residents through the first phase of the report and Jacob Rees-Mogg’s personal LBC radio trumpet respectively.
Bizarrely, Boris Piccaninny Watermelon Letterbox Cake Bumboys Vampires Haircut Wall-Spaffer Spunk-Burster Fuck-Business Fuck-the-Families Get-Off-My-Fucking-Laptop Girly-Swot Big-Girl’s-Blouse Chicken-frit Hulk-Smash Noseringed-Crusties Death-Humbug Technology-Lessons Surrender-Bullshit French-Turds Get-Stuffed Johnson who, when mayor of London, responded to London assembly member Andrew Dismore’s criticisms of his cuts to fire services budgets by telling him to “get stuffed!”, remains at large.
But is there no muck sticky enough to stick to Johnson and his gang of total liars? I’m not even a real journalist, just a minor comedy celebrity with enough plausible columnist skills to conceal that fact I’ve been placed here in an act of cynicism to drive traffic through a dying medium, but even I can see that Johnson gets a free pass.
Two weeks ago the rightwing press, or “the press” as it is perhaps more accurately known, ran photos of Jeremy Corbyn asleep on a train at 9am while travelling to campaign in Scotland. Corbyn should have been watching England playing New Zealand at rugby so sleeping meant he was unpatriotic and anti-English; a bit like Stalin who, in 1938, famously chose to sleep through the premiere of the light-hearted Russian comedy film Volga-Volga in Moscow, rather than watch England play Scotland at Twickenham.
Well, not only was I also asleep when England beat New Zealand, I didn’t even know there was a rugby tournament until I saw Corbyn sleeping through it. And if not being interested in rugby makes me unpatriotic then fashion an effigy of me out of old trousers, charge people a penny to see me, throw me on a bonfire and toast my immolation with hot cider, for a patriot I be not. That said, the picture of snoozin’, England-hatin’ Corbyn doubtless did some electoral damage. As would the cameraphone film of Boris Johnson being hurried out of Addenbrooke’s hospital, after an unscheduled publicity op went pear-shaped on Halloween, in a hail of boos and jeers from staff and patients, if anyone had seen it. The footage has had an intermittent presence online, as a result of copyright claims, and never made the national news.
This was fortunate for Dominic Cummings, because it wouldn’t have been possible to dismiss a whole hospital’s worth of unsolicited Johnson-booers as undercover Labour party activists, like the dad with the sick kid in Whipps Cross who questioned Johnson’s honking promise trumpets to TV cameras the prime minister insisted weren’t there, even as he spoke into them to deny their existence. If only the media had been so circumspect in its coverage of Ed Miliband eating that bacon sandwich in a funny way in 2014, maybe there would have been no EU referendum and Jo Cox would still be alive.
This is why the suppression of the report into Russian electoral meddling and underhand media manipulation is important. Not because it is about Russia specifically, but because it concerns electoral meddling and underhand media manipulation. Twitter knows that Russian accounts paid for Brexit adverts; and Cardiff University’s Crime and Security Research Institute’s 2017 study suggested fake Russian “sock puppet” accounts were, for example, behind the rapid spread, that March, of a politically weaponised and cynically decontextualised image of a Muslim woman walking past victims of the Westminster Bridge attack.
We know the Conservatives specifically, and Leave-supporting organisations generally, employ similar tactics, despite Fiona Bruce getting her facts wrong on Halloween Question Time concerning the legality of Vote Leave’s campaign, an error for which no BBC apology has been forthcoming. And we know the Conservatives manipulate media because the crusading liberal investigative journalist Piers Morgan called them out for it on Wednesday, after government propagandists re-edited and circulated online an interview with Keir Starmer on Good Morning Britain to replace his thorough explanation of Labour’s complicated Brexit fudge, with him saying nothing, as if he had no answer.
Why should the current government care about Russian media manipulation? They are too busy getting on with it, and getting away with it, themselves. And no one at the cuckolded BBC will call them out on it.
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter