I still die on stage frequently. Last month I could feel the room drifting away during a high-profile big top bill in the Greenwich Comedy Festival, but my worst death of recent years was in August 2009 at a private performance for the Friends and Corporate partners of the Edinburgh Fringe, seated around desert laden tables at the Edinburgh International Conference Centre.
I headlined with half an hour to total silence. There weren’t even heckles. I don’t think they even got as far as thinking me a bad comedian. I don’t think they believed I was a comedian at all.
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter