What is the point of the arts? Last week, it appeared it is to create accessible mainstream drama that highlights and threatens to actually resolve an injustice that the government ignored, while at the same time increasing advertising revenue for a commercial broadcaster because of massive viewing figures – a double win for both big business and bleeding-heart liberals who don’t want to see the lives of hundreds of innocent people destroyed for ever!
There are concerns that the pressure generated by Mr Bates Vs the Post Office to overturn legal processes and deliver swift justice may set a dangerous precedent, but Rishi Sunak must resolve to act as decisively and fearlessly as he did when he used parliament to overrule the supreme court’s findings and declare Rwanda a safe country. Sunak must simply dare to dream.
It seems all it took was bold commissioning and beloved TV faces to start to stem the scandal, which must irk all the journalists in sidelined liberal outlets who’ve been writing about it for years. But what next for woke ITV? For example, Eton school is unable to open because undermaintained sewers have flooded it with human excrement. One could argue the school itself has, in the shape of David Cameron, Boris Johnson, Kwasi Kwarteng and the Daily Telegraph’s Charles Moore, done much the same to Britain itself. But should the sewage scandal be woke ITV drama’s next target?
In Filthy Vengeance, Danny Dyer plays a sentient piece of woke excrement with a cockney accent, discharged into a chalk stream by a corrupt privatised utility company, who learns at first-hand of the damage being done and vows to take woke revenge on the network of international financiers and free-market politicians who facilitate it, by any means necessary. Rob Brydon cameos as a lecherous water bailiff.
The woke punk-fisher Feargal Sharkey can play himself in a scene where he meets the woke Dyer faeces in a sewer and agrees to team up to smash capitalism. Hopefully, it will be more convincing than the disgraced horse-warming tax-avoider Nadhim Zahawi MP’s performance in Mr Bates, who mouthed things he had actually said previously in such a hammy way it appeared he had been replaced by his own Spitting Image puppet.
Zahawi’s bum note aside, Mr Bates was a win for acting, writing, filming, recorded sound, design, costume and the arts generally, showing how the arts can excite the collective imagination and the national conscience, give voice to the voiceless and bring the whole country together by the power of storytelling. Has there ever been a worse time then for the backward fenland swamp of Suffolk to announce that it is cutting its entire arts budget? No art for fen folk. Shut up and eat your turnips.
Conventional wisdom says arts funding doubles its return by drawing in visitors and increasing spending in businesses that benefit from their patronage (I say with some pride that the age and gender demographic of my audience means it regularly breaks bar-takings records in provincial theatres, hard-drinking fans of the low art of standup thus subsidising more worthwhile forms such as dance, theatre and Fleetwood Mac tribute bands). The fact is, Suffolk’s £500,000 arts cut could actually mean a million pounds Suffolk can ill-afford to lose will now not be spent in the darkening region as cultural consumers stay in their wattle and daub huts to stream Mr Bates on TV instead.
Sadly, Suffolk’s value as a cultural destination has barely begun to be exploited. Metalheads the world over would flock to Ipswich, if only it had the wisdom to open a shrine to its most famous sons, the Luciferian innovators Cradle of Filth, while fans of early 70s commune jam rock would surely pay homage at the Sotherton farmhouse that housed the Global Village Trucking Company, especially if there were an animatronic diorama showing men playing 20-minute guitar solos while wives and girlfriends washed up and changed nappies.
Joking apart, the ghostly tales of MR James draw millions of Christmas viewers and at Livermere rectory, where he spent his childhood, you can marvel at the gravestones that supplied him with character names, and the churchyard just as he described it in his final story, A Vignette; Aldeburgh is obviously the “Seaburgh” seaside town of the timelessly chilling A Warning to the Curious. Elsewhere, Great Barton church has beautiful Edward Burne-Jones glass; the Halesworth Gallery’s outdoor sculpture trail last summer was the most fun I’ve had with ceramics; and the suddenly decimated Eastern Angles theatre company has spent decades embodying rural working-class experiences in flexible mobile productions that can fill village halls, or transfer to London venues when metropolitan elitists deign to notice them. Even Lowestoft’s the Darkness are quite good, really.
A cultural exodus from costly London means Suffolk is benefiting from an influx of displaced artists, but if Suffolk rejects them, they will take their talents elsewhere. Suffolk’s historic enemy Norfolk will instead become a cultural powerhouse akin to Paris’s Rive Gauche in the 50s and 60s, with Cromer, Ormesby St Margaret and Eccles-on-Sea emerging as centres of new ways of seeing, new ways of feeling, new ways of loving and new ways of being, new Sartres, new Camus and new De Beauvoirs rising from the culverts and ha-has.
But is it any wonder that the party that profits by turning people against one another, and that busted Brexit through only because people were too ill-informed to see through it, has no incentive to fund anything that fosters understanding and compassion. Suffolk’s overwhelming support for leave in the Brexit referendum shows how vulnerable its inhabitants are to manipulation and misinformation. Suffolk needs the illuminating beam of the arts to save it from itself.
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Frankie Boyle, Comedian
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Johnny Kitkat, dontstartmeoff.com
Joycey, readytogo.net
Joycey, readytogo.net
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Genghis McKahn, Guardian.co.uk
Idrie, Youtube
Idrie, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Secretdeveloper, Youtube
Liam Travitt, Twitter
Liam Travitt, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
World Without End, Twitter
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Dave Wilson, Chortle.com
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
Horatio Melvin, Twitter
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
12dgdgdgdgdgdg, Youtube
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Daily Telegraph
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Esme Folley, Actress, cellist, Twitter
Brighton Argus
Brighton Argus
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
DVDhth's grandparents, Twitter
Guest1001, Youtube
Guest1001, Youtube
Wharto15, Twitter
Wharto15, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Tweeterkiryakou, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Shit Crit, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Zombie Hamster, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Robert Gavin, Twitter
Rudeness, Youtube
Rudeness, Youtube
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
Iain, eatenbymissionaries
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
NevW47479, UKTV.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
Syhr, breakbeat.co.uk
John Robins, Comedian
John Robins, Comedian
Peter Ould, Youtube
Peter Ould, Youtube
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Deepbass, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Dahoum, Guardian.co.uk
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Alex Quarmby, Edfringe.com
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Karen Laidlaw, Edfringe. com.
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Alwyn, Digiguide.tv
Anon, westhamonline.com
Anon, westhamonline.com
Sidsings000, Youtube
Sidsings000, Youtube
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Bobby Bhoy, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Ishamayura Byrd, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Visualiser1, Twitter
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Lee Mack, Mack The Life, 2012
Bosco239, youtube
Bosco239, youtube
Peter Fears, Twitter
Peter Fears, Twitter
Z-factor, Twitter.
Z-factor, Twitter.
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Lents, redandwhitekop.com
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Foxfoxton, Youtube
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Rowing Rob, Guardian.co.uk
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Anonymous, The Northfield Patriot
Hiewy, Youtube
Hiewy, Youtube
Richard Herring, Comedian
Richard Herring, Comedian
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Gabrielle, Chortle.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Spanner, dontstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Anonymous, don'tstartmeoff.com
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Stokeylitfest, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Tweeter Kyriakou, Twitter
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Anon, BBC Complaints Log
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Lenny Darksphere, Twitter
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Neva2busy, dontstartmeoff.com
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
Sweeping Curves, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
98rosjon, Twitter
Carcrazychica, Youtube
Carcrazychica, Youtube
GRTak, finalgear.com
GRTak, finalgear.com
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Pirate Crocodile, Twitter
Al Murray, Comedian
Al Murray, Comedian
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Whoiscuriousgeorge, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Anamatronix, Youtube
Meninblack, Twitter
Meninblack, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Cyberbloke, Twitter
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Clampdown59, Twitter.
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Gwaites, Digitalspy
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Emilyistrendy, Youtube
Stuart, Chortle
Stuart, Chortle
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
Meanstreetelite, Peoplesrepublicofcork
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
BBC iPlayer edition of discussion of Stewart Lee on A Good Read
Len Firewood, Twitter
Len Firewood, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Tres Ryan, Twitter
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Aaron, comedy.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Cojones2, Guardian.co.uk
Etienne, Chortle.com
Etienne, Chortle.com
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Sam Rooney, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Mearecate, Youtube
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Lucinda Locketts, Twitter
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Mini-x2, readytogo.net
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Patrick Kavanagh, Guardian.co.uk
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Yukio Mishima, dontstartmeoff.com
Keilloh, Twitter
Keilloh, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Fairy Pingu, Twitter
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Coxy, Dontstartmeoff.com
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Neolab, Guardian.co.uk
Jamespearse, Twitter
Jamespearse, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Leach Juice, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Contrapuntal, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Mrdavisn01, Twitter
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Pnethor, pne-online.com
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Cabluigi, Guardian.co.uk
Funday’schild, youtube.
Funday’schild, youtube.
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Joe, Independent.co.uk
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Birmingham Sunday Mercury
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Henry Howard Fun, Twitter
Chez, Chortle.com
Chez, Chortle.com
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Joskins, Leeds Music Forum
Tokyofist, Youtube
Tokyofist, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Lancethrustworthy, Youtube
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Microcuts 22, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Rubyshoes, Twitter
Danazawa, Youtube
Danazawa, Youtube
Pudabaya, Twitter
Pudabaya, Twitter
Borathigh5, Youtube
Borathigh5, Youtube
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Someoneyoudon'tknow, Chortle.com
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Nicetime, Guardian.co.uk
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Dick Socrates, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Tin Frog, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Slothy Matt, Twitter
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Guest, Dontstartmeoff.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Pudabaya, beexcellenttoeachother.com
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Maninabananasuit, Guardian.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Brendon, Vauxhallownersnetwork.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
Gmanthedemon, bbc.co.uk
A D Ward, Twitter
A D Ward, Twitter
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
James Dellingpole, Daily Telegraph
Jackmumf, Twitter
Jackmumf, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Aiden Hearn, Twitter
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Anon, dontstartmeoff.com
Kozzy06, Youtube
Kozzy06, Youtube
Fowkes81, Twitter
Fowkes81, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Peter Ould, Twitter
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
Shane, Beverley, Dailymail.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
General Lurko 36, Guardian.co.uk
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
Dominic Cavendish, Telegraph
FBC, finalgear.com
FBC, finalgear.com
Mpf1947, Youtube
Mpf1947, Youtube
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk
Carla, St Albans, Dailymail.co.uk